


Memories

by sparkstoflames



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Video Game 2018), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Grief/Mourning, Photography
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 04:51:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkstoflames/pseuds/sparkstoflames
Summary: The story of how Peter Parker begins to fall in love with photography. It hurts more than it should.





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first posted work on ao3, and I really wasn't planning on posting this on here?? But I did so uh, I hope you guys enjoy it! Also this is kind of a mixture of the peter parker from the mcu and the peter parker from the ps4 game! Just for some context :)

Peter likes it up on top of skyscrapers. Loves the feeling of the soft wind, how the cold manages to just barely bite through his suit. Today, he’s got his mask off, letting the wind mess with his hair and hit his skin directly. He managed to catch the sunset, and now he’s watching the bright colors drip through the sky, reflecting off of glass and metal buildings. He wishes he hadn’t broken his phone, could snap this moment and keep it forever.

He watches as a little boy hangs on his father’s arm, laughing as his dad pulls him up so he can carry the kid. It seems like something Ben would’ve done, except Ben would’ve called him a troublemaker, his laughter coating the memory. He hates the thought of losing that memory, hates the idea that something so important to him could stop existing in just a few moments. He takes a moment to glance at the mural behind him, Iron Man painted in vibrant colors. He doesn’t want to lose any memories. Of anyone.

Tears start to sting at Peter’s eyes, so he pulls his mask back on, taking a moment to let his breathing go back to normal. He watches as the boy and his father continue along the sidewalk, the sunset behind them. His breathing slows, and his heart rate starts to settle. He misses them, both of them. He wonders what memories of them he’s already lost, what he doesn’t know is gone. He goes to glance back at the boy and the father, but they must’ve turned a corner, because now they’re out of his sight. He sits down on the ledge, his legs hanging off the side of the building. He misses those memories.

—————

Peter starts to worry one day after he takes a trip to see Happy and work a bit in Tony’s lab. Peter’s just tinkering, working on fixing a part of his suit that he simply doesn’t have the funds, or the supplies, to do on his own. Normally, he’d send the suit to Tony for a bit and just use the old suit he gave him. He misses being able to give Tony something to work on other than an Iron Man suit. And Tony would always have something to say about how Peter needed to be more careful, and how he should leave the bigger things to the Avengers, but he’d say it with a smile on his face. Peter misses his smile.

But Peter can’t remember what Tony’s smile looks like. He freezes, midway through reconnecting wires, and then he drops his tools. He can’t remember what Tony’s smile looks like. The line repeats over and over and over again, and then he’s slumped on the floor, hands in his hair and eyes shut so tight it almost hurts.

“Peter?” He hears, and Pepper’s voice makes him open his eyes to look up for just a moment. Morgan’s behind her, holding her mother’s hand, and Peter’s heart breaks. Does she remember what Tony’s smile looks like? Pepper notices Peter’s face, and sends Morgan upstairs to go play, softly patting her on the back to send her off. Peter’s beyond grateful for Pepper, because she’s there for him when he’s here, and he needs her more often than not when he’s in the lab.

“Peter,” She says again, the sound of her voice filling the lab, and leaving Peter feeling much less alone.

“Hey,” Peter replies, and his voice cracks, and he hates it. He hates how he can’t go more than two minutes without feeling like he’s losing everything around him. For God’s sakes, she’s the one who lost her husband, shouldn’t Peter be helping her? Shouldn’t she be the one who’s crouched on the floor, tears in her eyes while she thinks about Tony’s smile?

“Plan to tell me what’s going on?” She asks. And Peter feels so guilty, feels like he’s being beyond selfish because she shouldn’t have to do this. She shouldn’t even feel like she has to help Peter. But then she sits down next to him, and then Peter can’t let himself stay silent.

“I just miss him, y’know?” He says, and Pepper just nods, so Peter continues. “I was just- I was thinking about how he would always fix my suits, and then I thought about how he would always ridicule me with a smile and then-“ Peter’s voice cracks again, and a sob claws at his throat, “You know, I can’t remember what his smile looked like.”

“I can help with that,” Pepper replies, and her voice is a bit weaker when she does, but it’s Pepper, so she’s got that strong feeling that she always has. He never realized how thankful he was for that.

“Friday, play video number 13 from 2016,” She says, and then there’s a video of Tony playing in front of them, and Peter can see his suit, the first one, in the background.

“So Friday,” Tony begins, “This spider-kid has piqued my interest.” Tony walks away from the camera, and moves towards the suit, picking it up and holding it to the camera, a bright smile shining on his face. “Why don’t we give him a bit of an upgrade?” The video pauses, and Tony’s still smiling at the camera. He’s looking down a bit at his work, but the smile is still there. Peter studies it, every bit of it. He didn’t have this chance with Ben or his parents, he’s not missing out on it now.

“He’s still here, Peter,” Pepper finally says after a moment.

“I never got enough time with any of them. My parents, Ben, and now Tony. I just never got enough time with all of them.”

“You know, Peter,” Pepper begins, “sometimes, you don’t get enough time with people. But, you have to take a moment and think about the time you did have with them. And you just can’t forget about those little moments, because they’re the ones that matter.”

“I don’t want to forget,” Peter whispers.

“Then don’t. Record them.”

Peter buys a new camera on the way home that day.

—————

Peter swings home, stopping and taking pictures of a few particularly interesting scenes. He starts to notice the little things, things that may seem irrelevant, but he loves them. He loves pictures of rainy Queens, and the unknowing couple on the bench who just happened to have the street light shining on them just so.

When Peter arrives home, the sound of rain pelting against the windows of the apartment is almost deafening, but he likes the way it adds to the cozy feeling of home. He changes into a sweatshirt and joggers, and walks out of his room to find May cooking. The smell of pancakes flows through the apartment, and Peter smiles.

“We’re doing breakfast for dinner, is that alright?” May asks, taking a moment to look up from the stove.

“Sounds great, May” Peter replies, and May smiles at him before returning to her cooking. Peter sits at the table, placing his backpack next to him and begins to silently work on his homework. It’s a soft moment of peace, and that’s not something Peter gets to experience very often. He glances up at May again. She’s humming to herself, pouring pancake batter into a pan while bacon simmers in another. And then Peter’s smiling again, despite everything, he’s smiling.

So he grabs his camera, and he takes a picture of May. She glances over at him at the sound of the shutter, and rolls her eyes at him.

“What’re you taking pictures of me for?” She asks, bringing over a plate of pancakes and bacon.

“Nothing, just thought it was a nice moment,” Peter answers. May gets this look on her face, and for a moment Peter thinks she’s going to wrap him up in a hug, or something cheesy like that, but she just smiles at him.

“I’m glad you’ve found a new hobby,” She says. Peter looks down at the camera in his hands, taking a look at the pictures he’d taken just in the day he’s gotten it.

“Yeah,” Peter smiles back up at her, “something like that.”

They eat their dinner with quiet laughter in the room. Halfway through dinner, when Peter’s playfully rolling his eyes after something May had said, she takes his camera, and snaps a picture of Peter. Because for the first time in a while, he’s smiling at her. A real, genuine smile.

—————

They’re in the park today, working on homework on a bench under the cool spring air. MJ's legs lay over Peter’s, and she’s leaning one arm onto the side of the bench while she carefully balances her textbook and notebook in her lap.

“Quite the precarious set up you’ve got going over there,” Peter says, and she shrugs her shoulders confidently.

“Guess I’m just a master of this kinda stuff,” She replies, a laugh muffling the end of her sentence. Peter lets a laugh of his own slip past his lips, and she gets this pretty look on her face, almost a bit triumphant. It’s another moment for Peter, where he’s got this sense of brightness around him, one that’s been a bit dim for a while. And so she has this pretty look of pride on her face, and it makes Peter’s heart stop for a moment.

“Hey, stay right there,” He says, and he leans down to dig through his backpack.

“What are you doing, Peter?” She asks, but then he comes back up, camera in his hand. She furrows her eyebrows at him just a bit, but there’s a gorgeous smile on her face, and Peter takes a picture just then.

“Nothing,” Peter replies, finally. She puts down her books and leans over to him, placing her head on his shoulder while he flicks through pictures he’s taken.

“Peter, you’re actually like, really good at this,” She says, looking at a picture he had taken of Harry standing under a tree, arms raised and smile wide, like he was caught mid laughter. MJ grabs the camera from Peter's hands, taking a closer look at the picture. Peter takes note of the pretty smile on her face.

“It’s just something I picked up,” Peter replies, shrugging his shoulders a bit. She narrows her eyes at him, lightly swatting his arm.

“You’re amazing, Peter. Don’t discredit yourself.” She looks up at him, and Peter turns his head to meet her eyes. She places a hand at the nape of his neck, messing with his hair just a bit. “You know you’re amazing, right?”

And Peter’s heart flutters, because he can hardly believe that this girl, this amazing girl in front of him, believes that he’s the amazing one. Her bright smile, and the way her laugh can capture a room, or the way her eyes light up when she talks about her writing. He wishes he could capture every second of it, and never leave anything out.

“Only because you remind me every day,” He replies. She laughs at that, placing a short kiss on his cheek before moving back to her side of the bench. He feels a bit cold in the absence of her touch, but then she lays her legs back over his, and he gets that sense of warmth back. It’s something that he would never want to miss.

—————

It’s on a Friday later that week when they’re in Peter’s room. MJ had the idea of trying to paint together, and despite Peter’s terrible art skills, he’d agreed. There’s garbage bags covering the floor, and they managed to find the cheapest art supplies possible. So now they’re both in his room, soft music playing in the background as they attempt to copy whatever Bob Ross painting is in front of them without the help of a tutorial.

And it’s a sweet moment, because the sunlight is shining in, and it’s hitting her just right, making it seem like she’s made of copper and gold. Peter has a bit of trouble focusing on the piece of art he’s attempting to create, admittedly, because all he wants to do is take picture after picture of her. He wants to remember how she looked in this moment, wants to keep in mind how she flipped her hair when it fell into her eyes, or how she eventually gave up and tucked it behind her ear.

The idea of forgetting this, any of this, makes his heart ache.

“Peter?” She says, her voice quiet, but just loud enough to break a peaceful silence between them. “Everything alright?”

He nods his head, humming something that passes off as assurance, but she comes closer to him again, worry coating her voice.

“Seriously, Pete, is everything okay?” And now she’s whispering, and her hand is just barely touching his, but it’s comforting in a way that he can’t even explain.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright,” Peter replies, but his voice is weak and his eyes don’t rise to meet hers. A look of concern crosses her face, and her eyes scan over his face for a moment, but then she moves away, choosing not to push him too hard.

And it’s a sad moment, but this time, the sunlight is shining on her face, and it makes her eyes sparkle just a bit. There’s a little hint of a smile as Peter goes to grab his camera, and she glances up at him just as he takes the picture. Then she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, and Peter takes another picture. And it goes like that for a bit, and she tries to pretend like the camera isn’t there, and continues on with her painting, but Peter keeps taking pictures, because he doesn’t want to lose this moment.

“Hey, Pete?” Her voice makes him peek out from behind the camera, taking a moment to look her in the eyes again. “What got you so into photography all the sudden?”

And then Peter pauses, and he gets a clawing feeling at the back of his throat, because all he can think about is that day in the lab, with Tony’s voice echoing through it while Pepper sat beside him.

“You know what they were talking about in psych last week?” Peter places his camera next to him, and he watches as she shakes her head with a bit of a laugh.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“That- that thing about how we used to think that memories were concrete, but then we found out that memories are actually like, super easily manipulated?” He feels a bit of heat creep up his neck, and he can’t help but think how embarrassing it is that he’s getting so choked up over a bit of psychology.

But then she nods, and her eyebrows are furrowed again, and she’s moving closer again. He watches as she places her hand on his own, and he feels himself start to calm down.

“I just- I don’t want to forget,” He whispers. He intertwines his fingers with hers, focusing on the feeling of their hands together. He doesn’t look up at her, because now that clawing feeling in the back of his throat has turned into tears pooling in his eyes, and he’s not sure he can take looking up at her when he’s like this.

“Peter…” Her hand moves to cup his face, her thumb brushing away any tears that start to fall. She doesn’t say anything else, and then Peter looks up at her.

“I don’t want to forget you.”

“You aren’t going to.” It’s then when she brings him in for a hug, holding him closely while Peter let’s soft sobs shake his body. And then they stay like that, just for a few moments. She doesn’t leave him until the sun begins to dip below the skyline. And Peter wants to capture this moment, but not out of fear of forgetting. He’s confident he won’t forget this moment. Rather, he wants to capture it for what it is. A powerful moment, one that holds something beyond what he can comprehend.

And Peter falls in love. With MJ, and with moments, and with capturing them. And maybe part of it is because he doesn’t want to forget, but a lot of it is for what those moments create. He can’t describe that with just his memory.


End file.
